Ash

A flash poem from a bout of burnout

I want to cry and
fuck and
eat and 
sleep

I want to scream and
quake and 
thrash and 
masturbate

I want to bawl and 
release
like exhaust from a pipe

I want to live up
to my potential

I want to not waste 
my life

I want to not feel
weird writing
the truth in the dark

I want to write
things that don't 
have to sound nice

I want to feel like I
can use the word raw
without sounding 
like a poser

I want to take on
more
without falling
behind like a loser

I want to cry when
I should and not get 
mad when I can't

I want to have sad thoughts
about my life that lead 
to anything but
fantasies of a man

I want to keep writing 
this piece till I feel
cramps in my hand

But I won't 
because I have to 
wash dishes and
take a nap and
shower and 
get dressed and
part my hair for
this date with
a man.